Steadfast Mercy Page 16

  Chapter 16

  As the bishop dismissed the congregation at the end of service, Caleb scanned the crowd once more for Jonica. He had looked for her prior to the start of service, then several times while everyone was singing, but he didn’t see anyone from Edna’s house.

  Disappointment clouded his thoughts. Last night Jonica had been distant. He couldn’t put his finger on what had changed, but something was different. Caleb spotted Faith leaving the barn with the other married women and took a few steps in their direction. Surely she would know if Stephen was ill.

  Someone came up behind Caleb and clapped his shoulder, and he turned to find Darleen’s brother David.

  “How’s everything going, Caleb?”

  Even though the Yoders were a tight-knit family, Caleb doubted Darleen would have said anything so soon about ending their courtship. Especially to one of her brothers. “Everything’s fine.”

  “I feel bad. Your daed said you didn’t get your winter wheat planted in time.”

  “Jah, I waited too long. I’m learning.” Caleb noticed his daed standing with the bishop and Melvin Yoder. He lowered his head. Why did his father have to tell everyone about his failures?

  “You should have let me help.”

  Pride had a way of bringing a man to his knees. Determination to prove to himself and his father that he could do something other than construction had caused him to fail. Miserably.

  Caleb cleared his throat and raised his gaze back to David. “I underestimated the amount of rocks that needed to be cleared before I could till the ground.”

  “A new field always takes longer to prepare.”

  “Jah,” Caleb said half-heartedly. “Lesson learned.”

  “There’s always next year. Keep the seed dry.”

  “The seed is already—”

  A commotion outside the door between a group of young boys caught David’s attention. “I better put a stop to them throwing snowballs before someone spooks the horses.” He marched out the door just as the cast-iron bell clanged to signal mealtime.

  Caleb migrated toward the bishop’s house with the other men, his stomach growling. But once inside, his hunger pangs waned when he glimpsed Darleen’s glare from across the room. He looked away, but his gaze happened to land on one of her friends, who held a similar expression of wrath. He needed to come up with a reason to leave. Quick. He should’ve known better, known it was too soon.

  Gideon Rohrer came up beside Caleb. “Are you in line?”

  “Nay, go ahead. I’m thinking I might nett stay.”

  Gideon leaned back. “You feeling under the weather?”

  Caleb shook his head.

  “Something wrong?”

  Everything was wrong. Darleen and most of the women in the district were upset with him, but his primary thought was Jonica and why she wasn’t at the service today. When she mentioned not wanting people to know she was in town, he didn’t think she would also avoid God. Besides, if she really wanted to hide, she wouldn’t have gone into Yoder’s Market, where members of their district regularly shopped. Plus, she reconnected with Faith.

  “Caleb?” Gideon’s brows pinched together.

  “Sorry, mei mind was . . . elsewhere.” He shrugged. “I didn’t sleep well.” Hopefully, that was enough explanation. Gideon would find out more soon enough. Based on the scowls Caleb had received from the women’s side of the room, the news about him and Darleen had already spread.

  Still, he refused to talk about the situation here, even though he trusted his longtime friend. When Caleb had been filled with grief over Peter’s death, Gideon had been his sounding board. His friend was quick to listen and slow to speak and offered wisdom beyond his years. But this was different. Jonica had invaded his thoughts. How could he talk about something he didn’t understand himself?

  Faith came up beside her husband and smiled warmly. Her expression lacked the judgmental demeanor of the other women. “Hiya, Caleb.”

  “Hiya, Faith.” He backed up. “I should be . . .”

  “Caleb isn’t planning to stay for the meal,” Gideon said. “Would you mind making him a plate to take?”

  Caleb backed up another half step. “That’s okay. I’ll make a sandwich when I get—”

  “It’s nett a problem. I’ll be right back.” Faith walked away.

  “You seem in a rush to leave.”

  His friend would be too if he was despised by the women in the room. “Let’s change the subject.”

  Gideon smiled. “What about this weather? I think the snow surprised everyone.”

  Was this Gideon’s attempt to lessen Caleb’s farming failure? Daed had probably given him an earful about Caleb’s crops. “Jah, this will be a long winter. It’s been many years since we had this much snow this early in the season. How did your apples do this year?”

  “I’ve had better years.”

  Gideon went on to explain the problems he had with insects, but Caleb only half listened. He needed to find out if something was wrong with Jonica and put an end to this all-consuming distraction—the sooner the better.

  Faith returned with multiple containers of food. “I wonder if you’d be so kind as to take some food to Jonica, Stephen, and Edna on your way home?”

  Caleb glanced at Gideon. He didn’t appear confused or surprised at the mention of Jonica or Stephen. Faith must have told him about Jonica being back in town. Either that or the rumors had already reached his friend’s ears. “Sure.” Caleb reached for the containers.

  “When I gave Jonica and Stephen a ride home from town, I made sure to tell her that today’s service would be held at Bishop Zook’s haus.” Faith looked up at her husband. “I even volunteered to pick them up so they wouldn’t have to walk in the snow, but Jonica refused. She didn’t want us to drive out of our way . . . I should have insisted.”

  “Next time,” Gideon said.

  Faith nodded. “Stephen was so excited to meet our Daniel.” She grasped her husband’s forearm. “What if something’s wrong? Stephen looked a little peaked at the restaurant.”

  “I’ve actually had the same worries. I’m leaving nau,” Caleb said as an image of Stephen flashed before his mind’s eye. “I’ll go straight to Edna’s to make sure everything is allrecht.” He nodded good-bye and rushed out the door. What if Stephen was sick? Or Edna fell? Or Jonica was in trouble? Caleb still didn’t know anything about Mr. Jordan. What if . . . ?

  “Lord, I haven’t stopped thinking about Jonica all morning. Have You laid her on mei heart for a reason? Is something wrong? Please, protect them from danger.”

  Caleb secured the food on the back seat and climbed into his buggy. He turned Nutmeg toward Edna’s house. As his high-spirited mare often did in cooler temperatures, she responded by increasing her pace. Caleb didn’t hold back on the reins.

  Without much traffic on the road, it didn’t take long to reach Edna’s place. But somewhere along the way the containers had slipped off the back seat. Thankfully, the lids stayed intact. He grabbed the containers off the floor and hiked up the porch steps.

  “Caleb.” Jonica’s brows rose in surprise. “I—we—weren’t expecting you. It’s Sunday—kumm in. It’s kalt outside.” She opened the door wider and stepped aside, giving him room to enter.

  “Faith sent over food from the fellowship meal.” He lifted the containers.

  “That was kind of her. We haven’t eaten yet.”

  “Is everything okay?” He leaned slightly toward the sitting room entrance to get a better view but didn’t see anyone.

  “Everything is fine.” She motioned to the kitchen. “I just made a pot of kaffi. Would you like a mug?”

  “Jah, sure.” He stomped his boots on the rug, then followed her into the empty kitchen. “Where is everyone?”

  “Stephen is in his room playing with the wooden horse Mr. Jordan made for him and Aenti Edna is searching for another skein of yarn in one of the back bedrooms.” She removed a mug from an upper cabinet and placed i
t on the counter. “Did the service end early?”

  “Nay.” I was worried about you. Caleb pulled a kitchen chair out from the table and sat without taking his eyes off Jonica. This was the Lord’s day yet she appeared to have no concern about missing service?

  She placed a steaming mug of coffee on the table before him but didn’t take a seat. Wiping her hands on her apron, she backed away, then when their gazes connected, she spun her back to him and busied herself with opening the containers of food.

  He stood and, telling himself he was interested in finding out how the food traveled, he came up beside her. “The containers slid off the buggy bench on mei way here.” He noticed mashed potatoes on top of something that resembled meatloaf.

  “You already told me and that’s nett a problem.”

  But there was a problem with her not attending service—at least for him. “Is everything okay with Stephen?”

  “Jah, he’s doing gut. No bleeding issues.”

  Doubts about her relationship with God invaded his mind. She’d been made aware of the service location, was offered a ride, yet seemed indifferent about missing church—same as someone who was outside of fellowship. Without the boy having a father, she was the spiritual leader in her family. Why, was she out of fellowship? “And Edna. Is she okay?”

  “She’s fine.”

  Caleb waited for Jonica to say something—anything—about missing church, but she didn’t. A knot formed in his stomach. Missing church was never taken lightly, and she’d said nothing had been wrong with any of them. Why wasn’t she following their Amish way? Didn’t she believe Stephen should be in church?

  Caleb’s mouth dried. He’d realized today sitting in service that he’d developed feelings for Jonica and her son. But what if the woman who had captured his attention was not in good standing with her church district because she wasn’t in good standing with God?

  He couldn’t wait any longer to find out. “Why weren’t you at service today? Faith said she offered to kumm by and pick you up.”

  “Jah, she did.”

  As she reached for a plate from the cabinet, Caleb caught her arm. “Please don’t avoid the subject. Are you in right standing with God?”

  Chapter 17

  “In right standing with God?” Jonica echoed Caleb’s words even though she understood his question.

  “Jah,” Caleb said, holding eye contact that penetrated her every fiber. “Are you?”

  Edna walked into the kitchen, knitting needles and yarn in hand. “It took a few minutes but I finally found what I was looking for.” She held up the forest-green skein of yarn. “I’m going to make Stephen a scarf. He said green is his favorite color.” She smiled at Caleb. “Hiya, Caleb. I didn’t hear you kumm in.”

  “He brought us some mashed potatoes, gravy, and meat loaf.” Jonica flipped open the other container. “And yeast rolls.”

  “It was Faith who put the food together. From the fellowship meal.”

  Aenti stared at Caleb a long moment. “When did you—?” Aenti stopped herself. “I already asked when you got here, didn’t I?”

  Caleb smiled. “I just arrived, Edna. I came straight from Sunday service. I thought maybe you weren’t feeling well when you missed service.”

  “Oh, dear. Today is Sunday?”

  Guilt threaded Jonica’s veins the moment Aenti’s attention turned to her. Her selfish—no, cowardly—decision not to attend service imprinted upon her heart. Even if she didn’t want to go, she’d been wrong not to make arrangements for Faith to pick up Aenti. Wrong not to remind her aunt that today was Sunday, and wrong to keep Stephen from hearing today’s important Bible teachings. Now Caleb questioned her standing with God. Her aunt was probably wondering too. Would they understand if she told them the truth?

  Jonica pushed away from the counter. “Would you like me to pour you a mug of kaffi, Aenti Edna?”

  “Jah, kaffi sounds gut.” Aenti moved to the counter and inspected the different containers of food. “This all looks appeditlich.” She turned to Caleb. “Will you join us for lunch?”

  “He probably already ate.”

  “Nay, I haven’t eaten yet,” he told Jonica, then shifted to address Aenti. “I would love to stay for lunch, Edna. That’ll give Jonica and me time to finish our earlier conversation.” He motioned to the table. “Shall we sit?” He pulled out a chair for Aenti, then helped guide her into the seat.

  Jonica couldn’t help but admire his patience. He had a gentle way about him, with her aunt, her son . . . Caleb was nothing like his brother.

  As Jonica poured Edna’s coffee, Caleb came up beside her. “I really am interested in hearing your answer.”

  “Later.” She wanted to tell him the truth of why she missed church, but not at this moment. Jonica handed Caleb mugs of coffee for him and Aenti, then went about reheating the food.

  A short time later, Stephen bounded into the room, his nose held high taking in the tasty aroma of meatloaf. “I’m hungahrich.”

  “I’m glad to hear that,” Jonica said, removing the pan from the oven. “Give me a minute and I’ll help you wash up.”

  “I can do it.” Stephen grabbed a chair from the table and started to push it over to the sink, making a scratching sound against the floor.

  “Let me help you.” Caleb picked up the chair, set it next to the sink, then hoisted Stephen up onto the chair.

  “Don’t get your bandage wet.” She didn’t have more gauze to change the dressing and he needed to keep what he had on clean and dry. At least until tomorrow. She wanted him to be presentable at the doctor’s office.

  “I’ll make sure he’s careful.” Caleb turned on the faucet. He helped Stephen wash his uninjured hand, then soaped his own.

  Jonica removed a clean dish towel from the drawer and handed it to Caleb. “Danki.”

  “Anytime.” Caleb returned the chair to its place at the table and helped Stephen onto the chair next to him.

  “Where’s Mr. Jordan?” Stephen asked as Jonica set the warm dish of meat loaf in the center of the table. “Isn’t he going to eat with us?”

  Jonica glanced at her aunt, assuming she would answer. But Aenti looked as interested in the answer as Stephen. “There’s plenty of food. We’ll save him some for later.” She took her place at the table next to her aunt.

  “How many fish are in the river?” Stephen asked between bites of mashed potatoes.

  “Too many to count,” Caleb replied.

  Stephen skipped to the next topic. “Know what I named mei horse?”

  Caleb’s brows rose and Jonica explained. “He’s talking about the wooden horse that Mr. Jordan gave him.”

  “Ah.” Caleb nodded. “Is it a boy or girl’s name?”

  “I don’t know.” Stephen giggled. “His name is Nutmeg.”

  Caleb smiled. “That’s mei horse’s name too.”

  “I know.” Stephen stabbed his fork into a chunk of meat loaf and popped it into his mouth.

  Jonica figured her son’s healthy appetite had something to do with Caleb eating with them, but she was pleased that he finished his meal just the same. She picked up the bowl of potatoes. “Would you like more, sweetie?”

  “Nay,” Stephen rubbed his tummy. “I’m done.”

  “Me too,” Aenti said.

  “Caleb?”

  “Sure.” He took the bowl and spooned more on his plate.

  Stephen pushed his dish forward and plopped his elbows on the table. “Do I have to take a nap today?”

  “Jah,” Jonica said. “And please remove your elbows from the table.”

  Stephen groaned but did as told. After sitting patiently for everyone to finish with their meal, he asked to be excused.

  “I’ll be up in a minute to tuck you into bed.” Jonica gathered the dirty dishes.

  “I want Caleb to. Please.”

  Jonica’s thoughts scrambled for a reason to say no without flagging more questions. Stephen had already formed a bond with Caleb, but she didn’t
want her child to obligate him. He had other things to do. Sunday was a day to rest.

  Caleb took one last drink of coffee, then stood. “I suppose you want a horseback ride up to your room too.”

  Stephen raised his arms and waited for Caleb to scoop him up.

  Jonica followed them out of the kitchen. A shudder passed down her spine watching them go up the stairs. Stephen with his arms wrapped around Caleb’s neck, laughing as Caleb put more bounce in each step. Her son was loving every second—exactly how it should have been between his father and him. Would Ephraim have the same patience? The same loving relationship with Stephen?

  “They seem very fond of each other,” Edna said. “I think Caleb has developed a soft spot in his heart for you as well.”

  “He doesn’t know me.” Jonica went back to reddying-up the kitchen. Her aunt must not know that Caleb was courting Darleen Yoder.

  “There’s a resemblance between them. They both have blue eyes and they share the same jawline.”

  “Stephen’s eyes are the same color as mine.”

  Aenti studied Jonica. “Jah, but your jaw isn’t square.” She spread tinfoil over the dish of leftovers. “You should think about finding a husband. Stephen needs a daed.”

  Jonica grimaced. Of all times for her aunt to be in her right mind to carry a conversation, this was the worst. Caleb would be downstairs any minute, and with Aenti’s unpredictable mind, she might ask him to weigh in on the topic and embarrass them both.

  * * *

  Once Stephen closed his eyes, Caleb eased toward the door. He only made it a few steps before Stephen’s small voice said, “Will you be here when I wake up?”

  Caleb turned to face Stephen. “I’m nett sure, but I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  Stephen lifted up on his elbow. “Are we going fishing tomorrow?”

  Caleb hated disappointing the boy. “Remember what the doktah said about your hand?”

  “Jah.” Stephen protruded his bottom lip.

  “Your hand needs time to heal. Plus, your mamm would be upset if you get your bandage wet. So, we have to wait.” He hoped the boy and his mother would stay through winter. Once the pond froze over they could drill a hole through the ice and drop a line.