The Amish Wonders Collection Page 27

  “And nett dressed.”

  She entered the room, a stack of clothes in her hands. “So I see.” Her eyes twinkled as her careful inspection traveled from his eyes to his bare chest and down to his toes.

  If he wasn’t so drained, he would take advantage of her flirting and convince her to return to bed. Then again, weakness was only a state of mind. He crossed the room with more drive than he knew he had and cupped her face in his hands. “You think it’s funny that you stole mei clothes?” He leaned closer and parted her lips with his.

  He pulled away from the kiss. A whoosh of light-headedness threatened to buckle his knees. He reached for the ladder-back chair against the wall and sat. His muscles limp—spent.

  “Are you okay?” she asked, her voice panicky.

  No, he wasn’t. What good was he if he couldn’t spend a few intimate moments with his wife? He rubbed his face where his beard had been. His jaw’s smooth texture mocked him as a husband.

  “Josiah?”

  “I’m fine,” he said sharply.

  Lindie set the stack of clothes on the bed and rushed to his side. She placed her hand on his shoulder and gave him a gentle pat. “Let me help you back to bed.”

  “Nay.” Didn’t she know how humbling it was already? A wretched state he was in, losing his breath this way. Had his knees buckled he would have fallen to the floor. She wouldn’t have been able to get him up, and he would have been subjected to Eli picking him up in nothing but his long johns. He wasn’t strong enough to stand for long, much less kiss her like he wanted.

  Josiah pushed off the chair. Despite the piercing ringing in his ears, he lumbered to the bed and sat on the edge of the mattress. He took a deep breath and reached for his clothes.

  Lindie crossed her arms in a self-hug, then spun toward the window, but not before he caught sight of her eyes glistening with tears.

  He finished dressing and came up behind her, placing his hands on her arms. “I’m sorry.”

  “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

  “I can’t do anything right either.” He kissed her ear, then rested his chin on her shoulder. “I haven’t been much of a husband lately.”

  “Don’t say that.” Her voice squeaked and she tilted her head upward and stared at the ceiling.

  Her bare neck elongated. Josiah leaned closer, taking in the fresh soap scent on her creamy skin. What was he going to do, start something he couldn’t finish? He needed to talk with Eli and take care of why he allowed Lindie to convince him to come here in the first place.

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  The following day Josiah walked out of the doctor’s office knowing what a pincushion felt like. Poked and prodded for what? The outcome never changed. He was still dying. Doctor Cole wasn’t any more optimistic of the time Josiah had left than Doctor Ethridge had been.

  The dismal prediction didn’t surprise Josiah. His body grew more debilitated each day.

  Lindie refused to believe what now two doctors had said.

  “Doctor Cole’s research statistics don’t speak for God,” Lindie argued as they left the office. “Abnormal test results mean nothing to God.”

  “We still need to talk about your future,” Josiah said.

  “Our future.”

  “Lindie, be reasonable. There’s going to kumm a day when—”

  “Nay! It won’t kumm to that.” The glass doors opened and she shot through them, walking swiftly down the sidewalk outside of the research center.

  He didn’t race to keep up. He couldn’t.

  She stopped and circled around. “I’m sorry,” she said, returning to his side. “That wasn’t thoughtful of me to rush ahead. Do you need help?”

  “Nay. I want to help you. We must prepare for mei passing.” He ignored her shaking her head and when she opened her mouth to object, he hammered home his point. “The doktah said the boppli probably won’t arrive early. That’s six weeks at the soonest.”

  “Jah, there is always hope. I could be induced.”

  “With medicine? Nay.” He stepped off the curb and lumbered toward the parked van. “The boppli will come when it’s ready.”

  “You need the stem cells.”

  “We need to trust God’s will no matter what. Our time on earth is nett guaranteed.”

  “This boppli will arrive in time. I’ll figure out something,” she muttered under her breath.

  He stopped and, reaching for her arm, used every fiber of energy he had to pivot her around to face him. “That’s foolish.” He used the sternest tone he could muster.

  She swallowed hard enough that her eyes glazed, but said nothing.

  “We’ll talk about this later.”

  George had stepped out of the van and was sliding the door open. “You folks all set?”

  Josiah nodded. “It’s been a long day.” He stepped aside and waited for Lindie to climb in first.

  George seemed to understand they weren’t up for chatting. He asked if they needed to stop anyplace else, and once Josiah responded, he turned the radio on to fill the silence.

  Josiah closed his eyes. He hadn’t meant to snap at Lindie. Where was his compassion? This wasn’t how he wanted her to remember him. She deserved better.

  Without much traffic on the road, the drive back to Middlefield went by quickly. When George stopped the van in Eli’s driveway, he turned to face them. “You folks let me know when you need another ride to the city.”

  “Jah, we’ll be sure to.” Josiah eased out slowly, then waited for Lindie. She muttered something about checking on Hannah and tromped up the porch steps.

  George pulled away as Eli stepped out of the barn. His brother-in-law met him in the yard. “How did things go?”

  Josiah shrugged. “I was pricked so much it feels like I wrestled a porcupine.”

  Eli frowned. “Sorry.”

  Josiah couldn’t handle any more sympathy. “Can we talk in the grossdaadi haus, privately?” Feeling light-headed, he needed to sit before he collapsed. As they ambled the few feet, he collected his thoughts.

  “What’s on your mind?” Eli asked, holding the door open as Josiah entered.

  Josiah shed his coat and kicked off his boots. “I wanted to talk with you about Lindie.”

  Eli fed a log to the bed of embers in the woodstove. “I guess I assumed you were happy.”

  “I am. I love Lindie with all mei heart.” Josiah warmed his hands next to the stove. “I’m nett sure what all Lindie has told you . . . about why we’re here.”

  “She said you needed a special stem-cell procedure.”

  Josiah cleared his scratchy throat. “Without it . . . I don’t have much time to live.”

  Eli’s eyes widened, and for a long moment, he just stared. “She didn’t say that.”

  “She’s in denial.”

  “What did the doktah say today?”

  “He confirmed everything.” Josiah covered his hand over his mouth and closed his eyes. Lindie and Hannah flashed before his eyes. “I came here to make arrangements for after I’m—” His throat dried and he swallowed hard. Telling his best friend had proved more difficult than he’d expected. “I need to know Lindie, Hannah, and the new boppli will be all right after I’m gone.”

  Eli pulled a chair away from the small table and sat.

  Josiah sat opposite him.

  “They can move back here,” Eli said. “This place is small, but adding a couple of bedrooms onto it won’t be difficult.”

  A weight lifted from Josiah’s chest. Northern Michigan was no place for Lindie and the children after he was gone. The community was too small to have the support she would need. “I thought about asking mei parents, but they’re nett in gut health. I don’t even want them knowing about mei relapse just yet.”

  “I know this must be difficult for both of you. Margaret and I have been praying since we found out, but we had no idea you were so sick.”

  “Denki.” Josiah bowed his head. “Lindie’s been under a lot of stress, so I
’ve tried to shelter her from as much as possible. The doktah doesn’t know if the stem cells will work. I’m worried Lindie has convinced herself to have the boppli early. There’s too much risk—for her, the boppli, and for the cord to be viable. You have to promise me that no matter how sick I get, you won’t let her do anything foolish.”

  “Waiting is so hard.” Lindie set the plates on the table.

  “I know,” Margaret said.

  “Josiah hasn’t left the grossdaadi haus in four days. I take meals out to him and he barely touches them. He sleeps mostly. I’m worried he’s given up and I feel so useless.”

  “Just keep praying. The Bible says to pray constantly.”

  “I know.”

  “Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.” Margaret poured a glass of milk.

  “I try. But doubt sets in.” She set the glasses on the table. “What will happen if the boppli is late?”

  “Be patient in affliction,” Margaret said.

  Lindie peered out the window at Hannah and Solomon, Eli and Margaret’s youngest, playing tag. “I wish I had Hannah’s faith. She’s prayed for her daed and nau she runs around the yard like she doesn’t have a concern.” Lindie turned to Margaret. “I pray. But then I dwell on how gray his skin tone is and how his lips stay cracked no matter how many times I wet them with the rag or apply beeswax. I let things like that rob me of mei faith.” Lindie swiped the tears from her eyes. “I try to encourage him to hold on, but I fear he isn’t listening. He’s miserable . . . and he’s slipping away from me.”

  Margaret blinked and tears rolled down her cheeks. “God is in control of everything.”

  “I know that is true.” Lindie dabbed the corners of her eyes with her sleeve. “Still, I can’t stand by and do nothing.” She rested her hand on her belly. The baby hadn’t moved much since yesterday. At first, she appreciated that, but now it was beginning to worry her. “Should the boppli be kicking a lot?” She moved her hand over her abdomen. “How did you know when you were in labor?”

  Margaret’s face lit up. “Are you having cramps?”

  “Nay.” Although she wished she was. “I’m just wondering.”

  “Mei labor started with cramps and quickly progressed to pressure.” She chuckled. “You’ll know.”

  “I haven’t felt movement all day,” Lindie said softly.

  “All day!” Margaret set the lid to the boiling potatoes on the counter and swiftly crossed the room to the table. She pulled a chair out. “Here, sit down.”

  Lindie did so.

  “When is your next appointment with the doktah?”

  “In five days. This is normal, right?”

  “You’ve been under a lot of stress.” Margaret had never been good at concealing her emotions.

  “What is it, Margaret?” Agitation crept into her voice. This was her first baby. She didn’t know what to expect.

  “I think Esther Ebersol should check you. I’m going to send Eli for her.”

  Her sister-in-law left the room before Lindie could object. Hearing the door snap, she pushed off the chair and went to the window. Margaret sprinted toward the barn.

  The potato water bubbled over and sizzled on the stovetop. Lindie grabbed a pot holder and removed the frothing water. She shouldn’t have said anything until after supper. Now the meal would get cold before anyone ate.

  The back door opened and Margaret reentered. “Eli is on his way.” She kicked her mud-clad shoes off at the door. She guided Lindie from the kitchen. “I think you should lie down. You can wait for Esther in mei room.”

  Lindie’s thoughts flitted between Josiah’s supper plate she hadn’t fixed to what Hannah might think if she came in from playing and didn’t find her.

  Her sister-in-law opened the bedroom door, went immediately to her chest of drawers, and pulled out a nightdress. “Put this on, it’ll be easier. I’ll get the plastic covering for the mattress.”

  “Do you think it’s time?” She ran her hand over her belly again. This wasn’t anything like the time one woman doubled over in the middle of Sunday service and could barely walk on her own to the buggy.

  “Esther will know.”

  Soon everyone in the district would know too. The back of Lindie’s throat burned and an acidic taste filled her mouth. Why did it matter? Even if the members questioned the baby’s date of birth and concluded that the timing had something to do with her disappearance, it wouldn’t change anything. Josiah needed the stem cells and the sooner, the better.

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  A week had passed since Esther Ebersol predicted Lindie was still weeks away from delivery. Lindie hoped the midwife was wrong, but over the years Esther had delivered more than fifty babies in the district, and with all of them, she estimated their due date within a few days. And according to Esther, the baby wasn’t in the proper position to indicate labor was imminent.

  Lindie sat at Josiah’s bedside and stitched quilt blocks as he slept. She wanted to be nearby should he need assistance. But over the last several hours, it seemed she couldn’t finish even one square.

  Josiah’s eyes fluttered.

  Lindie pushed her needlework aside and leaned forward. “Do you need something?”

  “Did you hear the bell?” His words dragged.

  “Nay.”

  “Look after Hannah . . . for me.” His eyes closed.

  Lindie stood. If Josiah wasn’t so gaunt, maybe she wouldn’t worry that he talked in his sleep. Maybe instead of dreaming, he was delirious.

  Look after Hannah for me.

  Lindie walked over to the window. Hannah and Solomon were playing again in the yard while Margaret was hoeing in the garden. Lindie needed some fresh air. Being closed up in the small grossdaadi haus watching Josiah sleep had given her a backache. She grabbed her cape off the hook and went outside.

  Margaret stopped hoeing and straightened her posture. “Are you feeling all right?”

  Lindie nodded. She turned to watch Hannah dodge her cousin’s outstretched hand as they chased each other around the clothesline. It was good to see her playing and the weather was so much warmer here in Ohio. “The children are playing gut together, jah?”

  Margaret smiled. “I wondered how the two of them would get along nett being able to communicate. It seems they do quite well without words.”

  “That is a blessing.” Lindie placed her hands on the small of her back for support. “I’ve been sitting so long that I’m stiff.”

  “How is Josiah?”

  “Sleeping.” Same as he’d done yesterday and the day before that. Lindie frowned. “He’s too weak to do anything else.” She stepped over the mound of dirt Margaret had just hoed, grabbed the rake leaning against the wheelbarrow, and began to work the ground.

  “Do you think that’s wise?”

  “Jah.” Lindie continued combing the ground. “I’m nett going past mei due date.”

  “You keep that pace and the boppli might kumm today.”

  “That’s fine with me.” She worked her way down the aisle and stopped to rest. “What are you planting over there?” Lindie pointed to her left at the already tilled ground. Margaret rotated where she planted her seeds every year.

  “Broccoli in the far row and brussels sprouts beside it. And in these first rows, I’m planting cabbage and cauliflower.”

  “I was looking forward to planting a garden in Cedar Ridge this year.” She forced a smile but couldn’t hold it. “Do you think I’ll ever have mei own garden?” Lindie pulled in a ragged breath and peered up at the cloudy sky. “He’s failing fast nau.”

  “Would you like to go inside and have a cup of tea?” She motioned to the children running up the porch steps. “It looks like they are going inside.”

  “Maybe in a few minutes.” Lindie had spent so many hours indoors it felt good to be in the fresh air. She swung the rake, sank its prongs into the soil, and dragged it hard. The ground blurred at her feet, but she wasn’t about to stop. Not n
ow. Not when Josiah’s life depended on her having this baby. She raked faster.

  “Lindie, please don’t wear yourself out.” Margaret grasped Lindie’s arm. “Esther is hardly ever wrong. It isn’t time for the boppli.”

  Lindie continued breaking up the ground.

  “You’re bound to have hard labor if you try to force contractions unnaturally. Especially since the boppli isn’t even in the right position.”

  That wasn’t enough reason to stop. When Doctor Ethridge was concerned about her not gaining weight and possibly miscarrying, he said she needed to reach twenty-seven weeks and preferably to go past thirty. She was as thirty-two.

  Horse hooves clip-clopped against the pavement in front of Margaret’s house. Lindie lifted her hand to shield the sun for a better look. She wasn’t familiar with the horse.

  “That’s Mary Schrock’s buggy.”

  Lindie groaned under her breath. She assumed Esther would probably spread the news, but she hadn’t expected Moses’s sister to be the first visitor. Had her former best friend come to rebuke her again?

  Margaret waved at Mary. “She’s early. This is the day we go into town. I figured you would be sitting with Josiah or I would have mentioned it earlier. Did you want to kumm with us? I’m sure Eli would sit with Josiah.”

  “Nay. I have to stay close by.”

  “Will you tell her I’ll be right out? I need to get mei purse.”

  “Okay.” Hurry. Lindie faked a smile. She had a few childhood friends she had looked forward to seeing on church Sunday—Mary wasn’t one of them.

  Mary climbed out of her buggy. Her eyes widened and landed on Lindie’s midsection. “I heard you were—”

  Pregnant? News travels fast.

  The door opened and Margaret skipped down the steps. “I just need another minute to close the vegetable stand and then we can go.”

  “I’ll do it,” Lindie said quickly. Her sister-in-law’s stand this time of year wouldn’t require heavy lifting.

  The back door closed hard and Hannah bounded off the steps, toting a picture in her hand.